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Ice Age

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I fell across this website whilst looking up how to help young drug addicts escape that almost 'never ending spiral' that you seem to fall into once trying this life ruining drug. 

As a teenager it is normal to try things, I did drugs here and there nothing too serious knowing that I could control myself and pull back. It wasn't until I was around 15 that I stumbled across this drug many people know as ice. At this time in a life, my anxiety was driving me insane, I couldn't even leave my house without panicking, turning back, locking myself in my room and hiding from the world. I had just dropped out of school and was lost in a world where I didn't work; where I sat around and wallowed in my sorrows. I looked up online courses to begin, and I started at a college the next week hoping to I prove my anxiety, trying to push it under the carpet and pretend it wasn't there. I pushed a lot of people away in my life, but I met a girl at college that I felt I connected with on a level different to anyone ever before. We went on our lunch break, got in her car and she looked over at me and said, I hope you don't mind... I have to do something, I said no not at all! (At this time having no idea what she was talking about) she pulled out a glass pipe, and a jet lighter... Looked at me and said, I smoke ice.. I'm not addicted! I just need it now and then to wake myself up, is it okay if I smoke while you are here? I sat there in shock and replied ahh yeah I guess so... For the next few months, this girl and I spent endless amounts of time together, I adored her, I worried about her but I tried my hardest not to think about it, I would be around her and her friends smoking I as I sat there and ignored it.

One night we got back to her house late, I had been having anxiety attacks all night after driving to the city with her and two boys smoking and me just sitting and watching. We woke up in the morning - well I woke up, she had been awake - I was so tired and had college in an hour. I remember so clearly the sun shining in the room through the blinds in slated lines, she was sitting on the floor toking. I was in the bed, getting my thoughts together, she said you look tired go have a shower and relax babe, I went to have a shower and stood under the water just looking around thinking what are you doing... Get away from this, leave before you get too deep and it catches you. I walked back into the room soaking wet with the towel crying and I said give it to me. She was shocked but handed it to me, I smoked and smoked and smoked and smoked and finally let all the smoke out... I felt amazing, invincible, unstoppable... I got ready and we left for college. That whole day I didn't get anxiety, I was so happy and talkative and on top of the world (I thought). Lunch-time came, we sat in her car and smoked; months went by, years went by, and all of a sudden I found myself sitting in a drug house, 37 kilos, scabs covering me, looking up at the roof puffing my smoke into the air, with no feeling anymore to anyone or anything. My life had come to nothing and I knew this was going to soon be the end of me. For some reason I was okay knowing that I wouldn't be around too long. I was happy to know that I was in this spiralling addiction, I'd lost my family, my friends, even the girl I starting smoking with. No man wants a wreck of a person, a disgusting "junkie". I stopped college, I moved out of home. I wanted to go back to that day with the sun shining through the window and sitting in the bed, I wish I ran away. All of a sudden there was a bang at the door. The house was getting raided, everyone ran, hid, jumped fences. Normally I would of done the same, but for some reason my body just wouldn't let me. I looked at the bedroom door and everyone running down the corridor and I looked back at the roof, layed back and closed my eyes. I thought that was it. I don't remember what happened next, but what I do remember was waking up in a room, with a bed, sink, toilet, and hearing people talking faintly in the background... I sat up... I looked out the door and saw my mum standing there crying, my dad comforting her, social workers, and police... I tried to get up to see what was going on but I fell due to having cuffs on my ankles and hands. They all heard me fall and came running in, the police took the cuffs off and sat me in a room with my mum, dad, and two social workers. I looked down. My parents hadn't seen me in two months so to look them in the eyes would of killed me. The police said you are going to rehab, these people are going to take you. Say goodbye to your parents, you will be there for a while. I said I love you both so much and was escorted out the door and taken to my new home for the next two months, I didn't want to make a promise to my parents that day that their daughter would be back because I didn't know myself, I didn't think I would do it, or could do it. I was going in there and waiting for the first moment I got alone to find a way out of to end this all.

Rehab was okay, we would have daily meetings to talk about our feelings. For the first few weeks I wouldn't say anything, I would just listen. Listen to other sides of the story, listen to people's reasoning, listen to hopefully find someone that related to me.

I remember one night laying in my bed awake tossing and turning, the medication they had given me I hadn't taken, I left it under my tounge. I dreamt about my mums beautiful face saying monkey you have got this, you know who you really are and you know you can come back from anything, I love you so much. That next day was a new change for me, I spoke about my feelings, I ate my food, I worked out, I cut the negative thoughts out and got off the medication for good; they saw my changes. I was, am, and always will be thankful that I was able to get off. I came home, I had my mood swings and had a few months of ups and downs in regard to relapsing and nights out. Which needed to happen. I am now so proud to say that I am 4 months clean of methamphetemines; I don't do drugs anymore, I may drink now and then but avoid drugs in general. I did it for my family, my close friends and myself.

I want and would love to help people, God sent me a second Chance.

And if you really want it you will get a second chance too. Once I became clean, cold turkey, I got a quote tattooed just for myself to know that I'm done with that. I don't want to post it because people will know who I am and I'm trying to ride low and escape everyone's drama causing.

I want to help, so anyone needing it come to me, find contact with me, even if it's just for a day out, just to talk, anything, it's time for a change.

A new beginning, let's escape the ice age and conquer this life.

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